#questions and their answers absolutely fucking FASCINATING to consider

[frecklenog]

nobody:

me, disabled, and with special interests in both worldbuilding and disability accommodations, history, and advocacy: i wonder what kind of disabilities existed on gallifrey. would regeneration reset an autoimmune disorder, or would it follow through to their next form? can they regenerate into a body with an autoimmune disorder? is it there to stay once it hits?

what about limb differences? if gallifreyans can regenerate limbs (at the very least within the first 15 hours of regeneration, as seen in the christmas invasion), would that mean the majority of limb differences on gallifrey would be congenital? would a gallifreyan be encouraged to regenerate regardless of threat to their life after an amputation, or has gallifrey moved past that sort of ableism? (probably not, since fifteen's tardis being wheelchair accessible (or, the entrance, since the ramps within seem pretty steep) is considered remarkable by wheelchair user and unit agent shirley anne bingham. plus, from a doylist perspective, dw is very much a product of its various times, being a universe that started development in the early 60s.) would regeneration ""fix"" (heavy airquotes on that) such limb differences? is it possible to regenerate into a body with a limb difference? what sort of adaptive devices are/were there on gallifrey for those who either can't regenerate because they're very close to or at their regeneration limit, or simply choose not to do so?

a lot of these questions also apply to neurological disorders and injuries, too, if you change the wording a bit. tremors, chronic pain, weakness, paralysis, mobility issues, those sorts of things.

and are their blind gallifreyans? (if so, the doctor clearly didn't spend enough time around them.) deaf/hoh gallifreyans? similar questions there, too! (written gallifreyan language already makes my head spin, personally, but i'm intrigued by the idea of how they might go about designing an equivalent of braille! and i'd bet money that gallifreyan sign would include words and phrases that humans wouldn't think to consider, just like any other language. but then, why doesn't the tardis's translation matrix recognize and automatically translate british sign language, as we see with cass's signing confusing clara in before the flood?)

further, what about potential disabilities with no human analogue that relate to the regeneration process itself-?

my parents: hang on. slow down. what the fuck are you talking about

[retroaria]

hello! if you're not busy, then may i please request an interviewer!reader x the blue lock boys? in which they become enamored with their interviewers charm. a few specific characters i want are: sae, rin, nagi and kaiser. but feel free to add or remove characters as you'd like! you can do this in your free time, no pressure. thank you, and take care!

a/n: thank you for requesting!! i’m so sorry please don’t hate me for how long this took i am NOT a professional :x

⋆˙⟡ interviewer!reader x - rin - nagi - kaiser - ⋆˙⟡

• | BLUE LOCK M.LIST | •

nagi seishiro ᯓᡣ𐭩

*totally lovestruck*

nagi has always struck me as someone who considers himself to be “out of the league” for most people he finds attractive, so he doesn’t put himself out there and doesn’t really know how. if he was in a situation where he had to interact with someone he genuinely was enamored by, he’d be a mess.

and so he stands there, dopy, clueless, not even looking correctly in the camera and seemingly staring at…you? No, he’s definitely staring at you. his eyes are dull and dim, but they seem to be a little hazed, glossed over with a sheen of fascination. he shakes his head and nods and mumbles, unbeknownst to whatever it is you’ve actually been asking him.

this is not the look nagi ever intended to have when speaking to someone he finds this attractive, but he truly can’t help it. his minds gone blank and he isn’t sure if you’re standing perfectly under a spotlight or if you’re an angel naturally glowing in his presence. his internal dialogue is stuck between cringing at himself and taking mental note of every single feature he can gather with his eyes on you - all over you, i should say.

nagi would be way too excited to actually ask you out (also definitely not after staring you down like a creep), he’d be too afraid of losing his cool. but he would absolutely remember your name and ask around when he has the chance - would ask reo for help with this lol. through some industry path of team managers to stadium staff to news reporters, he eventually finds you again. would 100% stalk you on social media and follow you just to see where that goes .

just like rin, he’d try to be in the right place at the right time and do the right things to get you to strike some sort of non formal conversation with him in the hopes that’ll it’ll create an opening for him to ask you out :x

rin itoshi ᯓᡣ𐭩

*blushes and looks away…*

rin hates interviews. he doesn’t like open ended questions and he hates having a camera shoved in his face. most of the reporters that run up to him on the edge of the field just holler questions and statements at him that can often feel degrading and presumptuous.

when he was stopped just outside the stadium by you and your small crew, you spoke to him with a lack of crassness that he hasn’t been on the receiving end of in ages - so he agrees. his answers remain cold and striking, as they always are, but his demeanor is more loose than usual.

rin initially doesn’t feel anything for you other than respect and gratitude for treating him like a human unlike the other reporters he’s encountered. he was sure to get your name and properly thank you. he’s the type to think about you and hope that you’ll cross paths again. wouldn’t go out of his way to find you, but at every game and every event he scans the crowds in search of your smile that had welcomed him so tenderly before. not to mention your face has popped into his head almost everyday since he first met you and it’s freaking him the fuck out.

when he does see you again he accepts your interview request immediately, bullshits through all the questions, and sticks around a little longer to talk to you. he’s painfully awkward and even more painfully unaware of it, but once you notice the slight blush on his face you can steer him in the right direction lol

michael kaiser ᯓᡣ𐭩

*prince charming*

when you introduced yourself to kaiser in hopes of getting an interview you certainly did not expect the offer to be accepted so enthusiastically. kaiser isn’t necessarily bothered by interviews, but he hates having to think of answers on the spot.

he’d throw out some cheeky lines like “If I smile at the camera can I get a date?” and a classic for him, “Whatever you say, beautiful.”

you’re asking him questions he surely has been asked before, questions he’s probably been trained to answer, but his answers are boastfully and flirtatiously directed at you and you alone. your camera man leaned over and asked if he should just cut all the footage. you entertain him a little more, trying to see if you can get him to break his prince charming act and actually talk about the game he just played.

eventually he lets up and you get the interview done. as you and your crew are about to leave the stadium, he grabs your hand and lifts it up, planting a soft kiss to your knuckles (you think maybe this could be considered assault, but you’ll let it slide for him this one time).

unlike the other two, kaiser doesn’t have a bashful bone in his body in this situation. i’ve always felt that he isn’t as much of a manwhore as everyone thinks he is, which i still stand by!!! but if he sees you and is truly enamored by you he knows how to make his feeling apparent.

[bewitched-hours]

*getz clozer to ur face with big ol' eyez*

Guezz whooo ;33

It'z Zanon >:333

Zo could you maybe make a fic about [READER] being a moon zpawn thing-? Bazically, they were just normally watching the zurviverz zadly (rezting zad face) before they just randomly got teleported into the game, and the other zurvivorz are like: 'who the fuck are you???', meanwhile Two Time is like: 'THE SPAWN???' (wow, zhocker, I uzed an s!)

Anywayz, thiz waz juzt a zilly thing we had in our head, go abzolutely nuts for thiz thing if u wanna :3

OMG YES YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I'VE BEEN HOPING FOR AN ASK LIKE THIS- Zanon, you're an absolute angel!

Let's zay the reader's pronouns are She/Her this time around~

"What a pitiful bunch" was almost like your catchphrase at this point.

You were a deity of the Spawn, perched upon the moon like a goddess should be and watching over a realm where life and death had a never ending dance with one another.

It made you curious. Especially when you noticed two of them had looked familiar. Two Time and Azure.

You had watched them before, seeing how the cultists interacted and behaved. You always had an odd fascination with the little cult.

But the Spawn eventually tasked you with keeping watch on this realm, knowing that you were meant to watch over the potentially less stable of the two.

The Spectre never seemed to care much about your presence as you'd simply watch and sleep the whole time. There wasn't much else to do.

But today the Spectre seemed to have grown bored of routine and threw you into the middle of the round, even giving you a more familiar form to them so your ethereal one wouldn't burn their eyes.

Your arrival was announced with a loud ringing and a crash, ending with your new form sitting in a small crater in the middle of the map.

You had two sets of wings on your back. One bigger than the other but the larger pair was luckily above the smaller one. But there was also a small pair behind your ears, sticking out of your black hair like a charm.

On your front? The Spawn's logo. Perhaps to make sure your origins would be clear.

Looking around, you had a couple of survivors looking at you in shock before quickly pulling you up and helping you away to help them.

You were admittedly confused but you knew the spiel by now so you helped, promising to explain everything back at the cabin while the round slowly came to an end.

But the first thing you were greeted with was an excited gasp from the little cultist you've been watching. Two Time.

They spared no time asking you more questions than you could answer and you could only chuckle as you calmed them down so you could properly explain to everyone. And you spared no details either, given that they all deserved the truth.

But hearing you've been watching only seemed to fuel Two Times obsession.

It started innocently enough, to your surprise.

A bit extra help, praises to the Spawn, the whole mile.

You didn't have the heart to tell them their second life came from the Spectre and not the Spawn. You didn't want to lie but was it lying to keep it hidden since it's never spoken of...?

You actually grew fond of their affection, a strange pounding making itself known against your ribcage that utterly confused you.

You were already new to emotions and now this? Well, best to ask one of the more sane ones...

"Excuse me." You spoke softly as you approached the next best Survivor you came across. Elliot.

There was already a round going on with Two Time in the middle of it and in the background, you could even watch it on the TV. They were really motivated again but that wasn't your focus.

Elliot was simply startled, considering your footsteps were as silent as dust. "Oh- It's you- What's up?" He spoke nervously, only to relax when you showed nervousness as well.

"There is this new emotion I have encountered. Whenever I am with Two Time, their presence appears to warm up my body and I feel a strange pounding in my chest." You attempted to explain to the best of your abilities as you noticed Elliot seeming a little anxious.

He glanced back at the TV, making sure Two Time was still in the round before telling you what you needed to hear. "That sounds like love... And I'm sorry- I shouldn't judge- especially not an ethereal being- but them?? I really hope that works out because Two Time doesn't strike anyone here as someone who would make a particularly sane partner..."

His honesty made you chuckle, knowing exactly what he meant as you reached out to pat his head a bit. You knew what you were getting into but being confident that you would just return to your ethereal form after dying for the last time(if you even can), you knew you weren't in much danger if at all.

"Rest assured, dear friend. My mental state is far beyond what it may appear. I will speak to them soon and you must not worry." Your words seemed to ease Elliot's worry but your thoughts were interrupted by a sudden hug from behind.

Sometimes you forget you've allowed Two Time unprompted physical affection...

"[Reader], you were watching, right? Did I do good?" You couldn't help but chuckle at their words, not noticing Elliot silently going off to give you two space.

But the warmth in your chest only grew as you began to calmly praise them for their strategy and bravery. It didn't really matter in this realm but you were a gentle-mannered deity and always believed that praise was a good way to motivate one's followers. It worked great so far so why not?

You were a Spawn deity anyhow so if anything, their devotion to the Spawn growing would further appease the Spawn and perhaps you could ask to take them as your vessel or something. The thought was almost too good to think about.

"You're simply adorable, you know that?" The words slipped out before you could even think but you weren't one to feel shame about it. Though you could see their pale cheeks warming just a little.

Soon after, you were sitting with them in their cabin, telling them stories of the moon and Spawn while making little flowercrowns with them. You were never sure why you enjoyed this activity but it was peaceful. And Two Time was more than happy to listen to your tales.

Until you grew silent...

"[Reader], what's wrong? Did I do something?" Their voice rang with worry but you simply waved it off, trying to cover your face slightly with one of your wings.

"No no, it was simply your smile..." You softly explained, looking at the ground to avoid staring. "I may have been a little distracted because it was quite adorable."

You only glanced back to see them get flustered and quietly get back to making more flowercrowns. It was amusing how they reacted to such simple words.

You couldn't help yourself. With a gentle motion, you tilted their face back up and gave them a kiss on the forehead. You would've broken the poor cultist if they got any more flustered.

"Two Time, my dear, what would you say if I offered you a place beside me once I am back to my ethereal being? With you spreading the word of Spawn and me being able to stay with you and make sure no harm ever comes your way?" You offered, watching their eyes sparkle at your proposal.

But they couldn't get out much besides a panicked stutter as they rapidly nodded in agreement. How cute!

"So be it... My moonlight~" You lightly teased them, watching them practically melt into your touch as you practically just gave out a title only those dearest to you should be called.

And as you wrapped your wings around them in a loving embrace...

Everything was perfect...

Anything you'd like to request/ask? Check out my pinned post first and I'll be happy to write up whatever you want!

[phoenixkaptain]

A story like Thousand Autumns is very subtle in its romance.

Shen Qiao has only ever known his sect. He knows it very well, because of this fact. He knows the people, he knows the rules, he knows the daily doings and who is doing them. He knows every blade of grass and every stone. He’s like a lonely mountain flower, on the highest peak, unseen by any but a few birds and unknowing that there’s more it might never know.

When he finds himself away from his sect for the first time, he’s confused. At most, he’s gone to the base of the mountain, maybe the fields surrounding that, but no further. The flower was plucked and tossed aside.

For a man stumbling blindly in the world, literally and figuratively, there really isn’t a better guide than one that knows just about everything. And that’s, without a doubt, Yan Wushi.

Yan Wushi has lived longer than Shen Qiao, has been more places than Shen Qiao, and has fought more battles than Shen Qiao. Yan Wushi is the perfect example of something out of reach even for someone out of reach. He’s the only one who could answer any questions asked of him, but especially the questions that Shen Qiao would want to ask him.

And there’s no question in my mind that Yan Wushi doesn’t fall for Shen Qiao at first sight, but he’s certainly attracted to him. Not in an overtly sexual or emotional way, but Yan Wushi, the way his character is set up? It’s impossible for him not to be fascinated by Shen Qiao.

He knows Shen Qiao is the very picture of a peerless immortal. He’s well aware that Shen Qiao is considered untouchable by even the people closest to Shen Qiao. He’s most aware that Shen Qiao is Qi Fengge’s (coughhndisputedcough) favourite disciple, and honestly that’s enough for him to overwhemingly want to mess with Shen Qiao.

There are a lot of reasons for Yan Wushi to fall for Shen Qiao. Most of the people in the novel fall for Shen Qiao, after all, there is a precedent.

But the one I’ve seen questioned is Shen Qiao’s affection for Yan Wushi. Where does it come from? When did it start? Does Shen Qiao even fucking like that asshole?

The easy answer is: yes, he does. The novel tells us that. Shen Qiao, despite everything, does fall for Yan Wushi’s, um, “charms” in the end. This is made clear.

But why? A thousand voices cry out. Why the fuck would any reasonable person like Yan goddamn Wushi in any capacity?

Well, there’s your first mistake. Shen Qiao is not a reasonable person.

Shen Qiao as a character is absolutely terrifying. He could absolutely destroy the world given half the inclination, but he just doesn’t want to. He’s already considered unmatched before he’s pushed unceremoniously off of a mountain, and his journey only increases his strength. He isn’t quite equal to Yan Wushi, but he’s the only person Yan Wushi ever sees as equal to himself.

Shen Qiao’s best and worst trait is his patience. He’s unwavering. He really just embodies taoism, especially as it’s presented in the novels. He is the picture of a river that doesn’t stray from its path.

Which is why it’s hard for him to reconcile his own attraction to Yan Wushi, but let’s all be clear here. Yan Wushi absolutely starts seducing Shen Qiao on day fucking one. If he could’ve (if Qi Fengge hadn’t been there) he would’ve tried to eat that cabbage when it was just a little sprout. Shen Qiao is unpracticed in most social interactions, to be frank, but he’s especially unused to romance and Yan Wushi really is his first introduction to being hit on.

Yan Wushi is far from good, at really any point, to anybody but especially to Shen Qiao. But that doesn’t particularly matter because Shen Qiao chooses to forgive him, again and again. And I really think, after giving Shen Qiao to a confirmed terrible, awful person who has already promised to do terrible thing to Shen Qiao, that Shen Qiao himself wouldn’t forgive literally anyone else for doing that. And he shouldn’t, because it was really fucked up, but that still doesn’t matter because Shen Qiao ultimately DOES forgive Yan Wushi.

What am I saying? I’m saying that Shen Qiao fell for Yan Wushi first. It is the only way the story makes any sense. Shen Qiao is annoyed at him, he’s furious at him, he’s so fucking pissed he could kill that man, but he likes him. He likes Yan Wushi’s company. He likes that Yan Wushi gives him a challenge. He’s exasperated, but he likes it.

Shen Qiao forgives Yan Wushi SO MANY TIMES. Yan Wushi humiliates him and mocks him and is the absolute worst, but Shen Qiao forgives him and more than that, Shen Qiao always is waiting for Yan Wushi to come back to bother him more.

Is there more to Shen Qiao’s attraction? Probably. Is it a daddy kink? It could be. But I honestly can’t help but read it as Shen Qiao falling for the absolute pits of a man that is Yan Wushi. Shen Qiao likes that old bastard and decides to spend the rest of his life with the fucker and he is just too much of a block of ice to show it.

[damascus-crowned-king]

Foolish love, but damn if it isn't true

Fool!Guy and Fool!Honey

It's really fucking bad yall

They were bored.

They were the only one awake at 6:30 AM, and they hated it. Years of waking up early out of fear that they would be late for some sort of event or that if they didn't wake up early enough, they wouldn't be as productive was biting them in the ass.

So they decided to bother their adorable, grumpy, currently asleep boyfriend.

"Guy."

"Baby."

"Darling."

"Sugar."

"Flour. Egg. Butter. Vanilla extract. Baking soda. "Salt. If you don't answer me, the pet names are just gonna get weirder, Guy."

"Nothing? Alright."

...

Radio silence.

"My oatmeal cream pie. My tomato soup."

"My honey-"

It only took a second for Guy to grab the back of their head and shove their face into a pillow and lay on top of them. Rendering them immobile.

"Oomph!"

"First of all. I call you honey, not the other way around. Second of all, It's too early and you should go back to bed. Third of all, why were almost all of those "pet names" food related?"

"I'm bored... and I can't go back to sleep, and also, I'm hungry, and who said that you trademarked the nickname 'honey'?!"

He replied dryly. "I did."

They squirmed for a minute before giving up under him. "Can you get off of me now?"

He questioned them slightly, still mildly crushing them under his weight. "Are you gonna chill out?"

"Maybe..."

"..."

"....Okay I'll calm down... lame-ass..."

"Did you say something?"

"Nothing, sweetheart~"

"That's what I thought." He got off top of them and laid on his side while Honey wrapped their arms around him so he could nuzzle his face in their chest.

They eventually started scratching his scalp, and they made a small smile at him leaning into their touch. "Your roots are kinda showing. Do you want me to touch 'em up for you?"

Guy scrunched his face in confusion and slight judgment at their behavior, still mumbling into their neck. "Honey. Did you just sniff my hair?"

Guy buried his face in the crook of their neck and wrapped his arms around them even tighter, mumbling a tired response. "Yeah... Tomorrow."

Honey slightly shivers at Guy's warm breath on their neck, smirking at his clinginess. "Okay." Letting out a soft confirmation before burying their face in his hair, taking a deep whiff of his natural scent mixed with his coconut and mango shampoo.

Honey smirked at Guy's convicting tone. "What? You smell good."

Guy scoffed at honey, finding their fascination for his smell odd. "You're such a weirdo..."

"What? You want me to say you smell bad? 'Cus I could."

"I mean, you could, but then you'd just look like a liar..."

"Do you want me to appreciate your smell or say you smell gross?"

"You could just... not smell me. That's an option." He says, throwing out the proposition, knowing full well it won't be taken into consideration.

Honey, fake-considers his suggestion, very obviously not actually thinking about not smelling him. "Mmmmm nah I'll pass."

Guy rolls his eyes and holds Honey tighter, wrapping his legs around them like a koala. Squeezing them tightly while they play with his hair.

This was the life to Guy. Silence and cuddles, Honey's fingers tangling into his hair and Guy secretly taking in their scent. (Hypocrite) Who wouldn't love this serene, still moment...

"Has anyone told you you're absolutely perfect?"

Guy was stunned to say the least. For Honey to say something so out of the blue and something so sappy had his heart skipping a beat.

"Um... no? What's up with you?" Guy was confused. Confused but not that surprised. His Honey was always one to speak their mind, but sometimes they said things that had him flustered. And he wasn't exactly the best at preparing for their unaware sweet words.

"Just sayin'. You're adorable, you're sweet, you smell amazing all the time, and you feed me. That seems like perfect boy behavior to me."

Whoooo boy. Yep. This is how he dies. Four years of being together, and he still turned into a bashful mess whenever Honey was all mushy with him... which was most of the time.

"God you are so..."

"Sooo...? What?"

Guy lets out a soft, resigned sigh and leans into them. "Charming."

Honey snorts at Guy somewhat dropping the tough-guy act and admitting he finds them charming, their ego rising at his simple word of affirmation.

"And that's all the sappy shit you're getting out of me today. No more."

"Ahhh I knew it... you're no fun..."

"Not my problem."

"But you know what is your problem?"

Guy groaned, clearly not excited for whatever was about to come out of his Honey's mouth. "What?"

Honey spoke up with a smirk in their voice. "Breakfast~"

"Ughhhh...."

"Soooo. What should we have for breakfast? We could have waffles, hashbrowns, Omelettes, grits? Ooh! We could have French toast and sausage?"

Guy rolled his eyes as they rambled about various breakfast foods, but deep down he knew he'd make a four course breakfast meal for his Honey. Because they deserved it. They deserved the world after dealing with his sass and sarcasm and monotone, lackluster personality, and his absence of... everything for years and even deciding to date him after putting up with all of it.

So he'll gladly make them breakfast.

And gladly give them the whole world if they asked.

Anything for his Honey.

[beauty-and-passion]

TBOB PART 2: OF FLATLAND, EXWHYLIA AND EUCLYDIA (3/4)

Hello, everyone, welcome once again to another post about Bill’s dimension. One day this analysis will end, I promise. But today is not that day: today is the day we will talk about Bill’s family.

And oh boy if there’s a lot to talk about.

Please check all previous posts to understand this one (and the masterlist too!).

<- Previous post - Masterlist

_______________________________

PART 4: OF BILL’S FAMILY

“If you think Stan’s relationship with his family is bad, Bill’s is worse” - Alex Hirsch, NYCC 2015

_______________________________

Loved and ostracized

Everyone loved me immediately and the mayor dubbed me the “best baby of all time”, made my birthday a holiday and gave out free knives. (...) Truth is I’ve always been loved and admired by all!

Of course Bill starts telling his story with a huge. Fucking. Lie.

How can I be so sure? First of all, the hyperbolic way in which he talks about his birth as if it’s the second coming of Christ. Then, all the previous points of this endless analysis.

Considering everything we have until now, I find it very difficult that Bill’s birth was celebrated by everyone. Surely his family celebrated it - if his society is similar to Flatland’s, having a regular son would’ve been enough to make them very happy.

But also��� he’s just an Equilateral. And if his world has social classes based on the number of sides, then he’s from a middle class. I doubt the birth of another Equilateral was a reason big enough for huge celebrations.

Also, let’s not forget what Bill himself said in the TBOB: you should make a new reality and a meaning for yourself. Well, what if this is the reality he made? A place where he was immediately loved and admired by everyone?

_______________________________

Scalene and Euclid

Sooo… those are the names of Bill’s parents.

Honestly? They’re interesting. Even if I’m a bit weirded out by Scalene: in the only image we have of Bill’s parents (the grayed-out triangles on thisisnotawebsitedotcom) neither of them looks like a scalene triangle. On the contrary, they both look equilateral.

It’s a bit strange, you know? As if a person has “Neanderthal” as their first name. “Neanderthal Smith” or similar. Sounds strange, doesn’t it?

While speaking of Euclid, I think it’s a nice name. It’s the same name as the dimension they lived in and no, it’s not as weird as it seems: in our world, some people have the same name as the country they’re from, so it’s not so weird.

But hey, the most important thing is that we canonically have the names of Bill’s parents! We know he had parents and we know details of his relationship with them!

And this raises A LOT of questions.

Let’s start with his mother: we know she loved him, at least a little bit. She sang him lullabies and told him she loved him, despite his strange eye. So we can be sure at least one of his parents didn’t mind his deformity so much.

Also, this part in TBOB after Bill and Ford's breakdown, in which a very, very drunk Bill talks to his mom:

“I’m gonna be back from school soon, don’t forget to cut out the crust off my sandwiches or I’ll —”

I don’t know you, but to me, this sounds like the threat of a spoiled child. Something like “cut the crust off or I’ll throw a tantrum”. And yes, this implies Bill was a spoiled child - or at least, a child who considered himself above others, mother included. So yes, I can imagine him throwing a tantrum at his mother for something stupid like some crust on his sandwiches.

But again, even more questions! How was his mother towards him? Was she submissive? Was she combative? Was she ready to answer to every little whim of her son like a Flatlander Woman or did she ask for some respect? Considering how bratty Bill is, I'm more prone to believe she was very lenient towards him.

While speaking of his father, I find it very fascinating that we know absolutely nothing about Bill’s relationship with his father. We know his mother loved him (maybe to the point of spoiling him too much)… but his father? Did he care about Bill? I suppose so, considering Bill visited a doctor (unless it was his mother’s decision only, but I doubt it).

And about his job: was he a Tradesman? Bill attended school, but was school supposed to teach him about his future job too? If not, then this was up to his parents, right? Presumably, it was his father’s job to teach Bill how to be a Tradesman, a bit like in the Flatland society. If that’s the case, then why we don’t have any information about this? Why no memory at all? Bill seems to care about his father too - if we assume that the top hat he has was his father’s. So at least he cared enough to keep something of him.

Was his father a bad guy? Was he cruel? Or was he so blinded by society’s rules to torture his son and think he was doing it for his good? In that case, I would understand why he did everything he did - but beware: understanding doesn’t mean accepting. It would be a bit like Filbrick Pines’ situation: I can get the reasoning behind his actions, but that doesn’t make him Father of the Year. Maybe it’s the same for Bill’s father. This wouldn’t be the first parallel between Stanley and Bill, after all.

_______________________________

An Irregular masquerading as Regular

Time to talk about Bill’s eye.

We can safely assume Bill’s rare mutation was having his eye on the face and not on the side - which, from the Euclideans’ perspective, meant having an eye on his insides.

Now, imagine with me: you have a child and you see that your baby has no eyes. No eyes at all, not even an eye socket. I bet you would freak out, at least a little bit. You would probably send your baby to a doctor and ask if there is something they can do.

The doctor checks the baby and gives you both good and bad news: your child has eyes and they work. But they are inside his body. In his goddamn stomach.

And if all of this isn’t enough, your child starts telling you that sure, he can see a lot of things! He sees things you cannot see - no one else can see.

Now, would you say: “Oh, no problem. He can see things no one can, so he’s fine and his eyes work well”? Or would you probably freak out even more and fear your son is having goddamn visions because he’s probably dying or has a tumor or who knows what?

I can understand why Bill’s parents brought him to a doctor. And I can understand why the doctor thought the best solution was to “blind” that eye. As far as Euclideans know, there are no “stars” and there is no “above”. It’s as if someone in our world says they can see rotating hypercubes in real life. Would you think they’re perfectly fine or question if they’re insane/growing mad/getting very sick?

So yes, even if it's insane for us, from Bill’s parents' POV, giving him medicine to make him blind was for his own good. Does that make them Parents of the Year? Hell no, they were literally blinding their own son, of course it’s terrible and insane and if someone tries to do the same they should be immediately thrown in jail. But for the rules of Euclydia’s world, this was probably the best thing to do.

And personally, I ADORE the tragedy of this. The tragedy of giving something to your son that will permanently blind him, but trying to make it at least bearable - he’s still a child, he doesn’t really understand what he’s drinking, but you think it’s for his own good, your whole world think it's for his own good, so you use something silly that he likes, like straws, because this will make the medicine - the impairment - more tolerable. Uuurgh, it’s so tragic I love it.

And it’s even more tragic, if we consider that even after billions of years, even if he talks about his doctor and the medicine as something bad that wanted to “blind” him, Bill never forgot the straws. He still loves the straws he was using so much, to the point he still gave them a place in his book.

But since there’s always room on the angst train, also think that by making him blind, Billy would’ve probably stopped talking about these visions (at least, according to his parents). And if he stopped, it would’ve been easier for him to fit into society. He would’ve followed the rules and standards. He was a Regular shape after all, so if they took away that hidden-and-yet-so-present pieces of Irregularity he had, he could’ve become a respectable member of their society. One who didn’t go around, talking about weird things no one could see. Things that were against the law.

Again, it’s not me saying this, it’s Bill:

“Technically, talking about a “third” dimension was illegal in my world.”

This makes Bill’s character EVEN MORE fascinating. He could’ve been the Apostle of the Third Dimension. He could’ve spoken to everyone, because he had something of everyone - he could’ve been a bridge between Regulars and Irregulars, because he was both. He could’ve changed his world or died as a martyr.

But in the end, he chose the third option.

And we will talk about it in the next post.

See you soon with the fourth and final post on this part.

Next post ->

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

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[kandadze]

FoF rewatch ep 5-6: Zhuo Yichen and Zhuo Yixuan (gifs and loose thoughts)

It might be because I'm an only child, that I tend to gravitate towards sibling - whether by blood or found - relationships. One of my favorite books growing up was Astrid Lindgren's "The Brothers Lionheart." I'm more likely to watch a show if it has an ensemble cast of characters who are in all sorts of familial and otherwise close situationships (hello, FoF). (Must also be why I finished watching My Journey To You the first time - due to my morbid fascination with the absolutely dysfunctional, codependent, borderline incestuous and in general fucked up dynamic between the eldest and the youngest of the Gong "brothers"... not sure what that says about me lol)

Back to the Zhuo brothers.

I loved Zhuo Yixuan the moment he appeared in ep 5 (and not only because I have a soft spot for his actor). I do realize that we get an idealized version of him, seeing him only through the eyes of someone who loved him and then lost him too early, and I still think he was a remarkable guy.

I believe that he can be considered one of the biggest influences on who ZYC is as a person. (The other one would be WX, but that's a whole separate post.) As far as the Zhuo family goes, we know there was a father, but even though he is mentioned, it's never by name, and he never features in any of ZYC's memories, either - which makes me assume that he was a father just by title, and not very close with either of the brothers.

As for their mother, we were told that she died when ZYC was little, so I imagine ZYX himself was a teenager at most at the time. Now imagine this young boy, having just lost his mother, and with barely any support from his father, not only raising himself, but also becoming a whole-ass family unit (mother, father and brother) to his Xiao-Chen. And, even allowing that ZYC's memories only show us the best moments with his big brother, seeing what we can of ZYC's character, I think ZYX did a spectacular job.

He's most likely the reason why ZYC, even socially awkward and shy, draws people in - whether demon, half-god, or human child that's a little bit of both. As long as someone doesn't pose an active threat, he just does his best to do what his big brother used to do for him - asks questions, listens patiently, responds from his personal experience and to the best of his ability. ZYX didn't ridicule him for having nightmares or being scared to dream; he reassured him and then looked for ways to help. ZYX didn't force him into making connections with other children when it was clear it was too painful; he did his best to be there when it mattered and let nature take its course.

There's that scene in later eps where ZYX does his sword training while ZYC entertains himself in the vicinity. It's obvious the brothers enjoyed each other's company, but also had their own pastimes and commitments (the nightmare in ep 6 starts with ZYC doing his own training while ZYX is away). There's the scene with ZYC trying on that delicate golden headband, and ZYX teaching him what it meant to wear one (made me think of a book I read years ago, which featured an apparently Anglo-Saxon tradition of boys up to a certain age wearing a headband woven with 7 strips of white cloth for pretty much the same reasons as ZYX explained to ZYC). He clearly taught his baby brother some sound principles.

I'm also assuming that ZYX was quite lonely himself. In ZYC's memories he's of age to marry and have a child, but there's no other family around that we can see, or that would get mentioned. ZYC must've intuited that, asking ZYX if he's the same as him - as in, misunderstood, and lonely, and his big brother just smiles and doesn't answer, clearly not wanting to burden him.

He instead shares what I think was what he got from being born into Bingyi line - a gift of foresight. I might be reaching, but in my mind ZYX foretold many events in ZYC's life - meeting ZYZ (the "anomaly," that ZYC will recognize not with his eyes, but his heart! The Truth Eye parallels are everywhere...), meeting like-minded companions, waking up the Cloud Light Sword... He seems to have hoped for all the best for his baby brother, not for himself. Which again, makes me emotional at just how good of a man he was, and how he helped ZYC to become someone who's not afraid to be open and soft, who's able to change his mind as new information presents itself, who's emotionally intelligent and does his best to see the world clearly.

We'll never know what would have become of the brothers had ZYX survived, but I believe that if he could see his Xiao-Chen now, he'd be very very proud.

[ofdarklands]

food and drink: 3, 7, 12, 15, 16, 17 / hobbies: 3, 4, 18 for mitr'a? 👁👁

whoa mama

ehem, long:

🍽️Food and Drink

3 Is there a food or drink your character is unwilling to try?

hmm i think not, at least not because of the food in itself. even meol he refused to try not so much because of the soylent green part but because it was a hateful Eulmore Product tm. also because someone (even worse, a clown of some breed) was handing it to him and it was thus suspect

he's also tried lots of things that are not technically food so

7 Is there food that has made your character sick?

man sadly somewhat lactose intolerant. i don't think keepers have herds of anything, so it didn't come up until he left for gridania. he refuses to admit this however, because the making processes of cheese and yogurt and assorted milk products are fascinating and he's not dropping that

that's regarding food that is innocent

he has eaten all manner of other things experimentally that have absolutely wrecked him until he built up tolerance or decided it was actually hopeless. fruits, roots, plants, walking plants, frogs, snakes, lizards, bugs, sea bugs, fish, that one poisonous bird, barks, water that turned out to be fouled, and many many delicious but evil mushrooms and molds <- guy who shouldn't be alive

12 Which mealtime is your character's favorite?

as a guy who lives on his own at his own rhythm, mealtimes are not particularly fixed. he mostly eats when he's hungry. but whatever he eats at sunrise before going to bed is nice. cold, but a good view. and quiet

15 What food or drink does your character consider a treat?

grilled things. with just some salt and some herbs. takes more time, not very stealthy, bit wasteful. very tasty though. mmm goat on the stick

16 Is there a food texture your character doesn't like?

doesn't like much things that are so dry and crumbly they stick to your mouth forever or too sticky-gooey, generally. like, have you tried chewing fluid honey? that kinda texture. he'll still eat it of course, but still

otherwise he's an equal opportunity chewer

17 What kind of drinks does your character prefer?

dense. give that thing some substance (his beers are basically liquid bread). otherwise, water, teas and juices are the daily go-to. he's got favourite water springs to source water from, too

.

🎲 Hobbies and Activities

3 What is a talent your character wishes they had?

he's generally very satisfied with what he can do, i think. he's skilled with his hands and his mind is adept with crafts. his body allows him to fight well. his reflexes are good. he can even manage the ocassional act of rolling a 20 on CHA, if he really cares about it. what else is there? not consistent human interaction skills, surely

4 Is there an activity your character used to enjoy that they now dislike?

not really? his range of activities has actually broadened together with his character development during msq

though! i guess he doesn't get street food anymore; he just stares somewhat creepily at the preparation process until he can do it himself and feed it to someone else to taste-test the accuracy

18 What is a topic your character wouldn't want to talk about?

economics and politics are not interesting to him, and also culturally not his problem. to him they're only worth talking about as context in stories. sadly being alphinaud's attack wol means he gets to hear a LOT about it. after the banquet he doesn't tune out anymore but by oschon's balls. torment

regarding what i think the question is actually about

things he'd honestly answer but mostly isn't asked: where he's been, his fights, his age, killing people, losing people, his job, his opinion on people, his opinion on the current plan, which cities suck the most, how he would kill lolorito, any plant or rock in sight, what sex he's been having, what the fuck do you mean ardbert was there the whole time, etc

things he might try to slide around for the sake of the other person, but would answer if asked point blank: his experiences and opinions with the wol legend (bleh), the almost-lightwarden times (bad), what the fuck do you mean zenos was there (great), do you regret almost dying at the end of the universe for no reason (no), if he likes fighting by the scions's side (fucking stressful), are you fucking my mother warrior of light (yes)

things he won't talk about: affection (not something for words), where his clan is (security reasons), hildibrand (not real), magitek (enough robots already*), any time he's failed at something he's actually good at (embarrassing. no more queshtions)

[aspenlovesmedia]

Protocol thoughts I have before s2 starts because I have a lot of them and I want to see what gets answered/what I’m right and wrong about. These are all based on my notes from my relisten and on the alchemy research I did today. This post is long lol, sorry in advance.

Has a Bouchard worked for the OIAR before/did Gwen get her job because of it? This is entirely based on a line from ep1 where Gwen says “Oh, nepotism is it?” And Alice says “I learned from the best”. This could just be in reference to the Bouchard’s being rich and stuff, but this line has stuck with me.

What happened to the Response Department? I think it’s suspicious as hell that Response was closed down and not the OIAR. This also links into how do missfiles happen and who is rating the accuracy of the staff?

What’s the deal with Starkwall? I hope Gertrude is involved with them somehow. I just think it would be funny if she was involved in burning down the Institute.

A huge theme is balance. It shows up in a lot of episodes, which makes sense because alchemy. Not to go on a massive alchemy tangent since I did some research on it today, however the philosopher’s stone wasn’t just about immortality, it was about purifying the human body and soul. This is also referred to as the “Great work”, which is directly mentioned by who I’m going to assume in Jonah Magnus in ep 27. There are also a lot of body doubles and stuff like that, which I’m guessing is that concept of making a perfect human gone wrong. I mean, there is literally an episode where that woman is trying to make the idealised version of herself.

How did Celia find out about the OIAR?

Jon and Martin are clearly reaching out as much as they can. Jon gets name dropped as sending the email to Sam. The true question is why they’re encouraging the investigation into the Magnus Institute considering everything that happened lol. Also, who sent Gwen the documents? I’m thinking it’s Augustus? I have no evidence though, it’s just a hunch.

Will we see Klaus (the IT guy Lena failed to kill)?

What’s the deal with Gerry and Gertrude? Gertrude is suspicious as hell and clearly knows more than she’s telling. Also, she calls Gerry her grandson, which brings up the question what happened to Mary and Eric?

The Merchant guy from ep 4 might be relevant? The reason I say this is because in ep 4, he has some dice, and ep 9 is all about supernatural dice and considering how the violin acted I’m assuming they’re the same dice that he had.

Will the key come up again? I know Sam dropped it, but I do wonder if it will come up again.

I just need y’all to know every Bonzo episode I have variations of “oh fuck” written down because I hate Mr Bonzo so much.

The OIAR are there to help with “balancing” stuff out and I don’t know exactly what that means it’s definitely relevant.

The quote “the world is filled with opposing forces, some benevolent, some not” was really interesting to me.

Lady Mowbray seemed to know Celia wasn’t from their world which was fascinating to me.

I can’t 100% confirm this but is Alice the only one to get jmj errors? If so, idk what that means but it’s weird.

How much does Lena know? Also, why is she so determined for things not to change where possible?

So, I made a post previously on this, but I’m pretty sure the Archivist is an amalgamation of all the TMA fear entities. Celia saying “It’s not acting how I would have expected” is a line that I think supports it.

The biggest question to me is how Jon, Martin and “Augustus” ended up in Freddy.

I am absolutely convinced either Luke or Teddy will die. I don’t know which, but one of them is going to at somepoint. Idk, but I’m sure of it.

Anyway, that’s like 90% of my thoughts on everything from s1. There are a few others but they’re very vague and I can’t phrase in a way that make sense lol.

[v7n5]

I am interested in hearing further thoughts from you regarding Mike x Nacho.

Although I am interested in Mikenacho, I’m not really a Mikenacho connoisseur LOL. I think I would talk about them more if I weren’t procrastinating on my rewatch. But my friend @maggotneonic is a dedicated Mikenacho truther. They’re the one who introduced me to this ship and opened my eyes to it. Their views and hcs are so well thought out and every artistic thing they’ve created for the ship is so amazing. I am in full support of them and think they would love to have more people talking with them about mikenacho, or just more people being vocal about their love for the ship in general. 

Nonetheless, I want to answer this ask by talking about this thing that’s been driving me insane and got me feeling so perplexed about Mike as a character, which is him taking that beating from Tuco to help out Nacho. 

The whole situation was definitely intended emphasize the lengths Mike would go not to kill somebody during a job, but the secondary point of it showcasing Mike’s attachment to Nacho — a rather strong one to exhibit that early on in their relationship — has to be the craziest of all to me. It’s well established that Mike is very strategic in what he does. He almost always opted for the waiting game, which tracked with his background as a former sniper, as though he by default plans around not having to be so hands-on and putting in effort unnecessarily. A smart man who stritctly keeps most of his spent energy on the plotting step like him would have asked Caldera if there’s anybody in need of cash enough to endure a few fractures he could hire, but he didn’t. Watching Mike getting involved in something as physical and vicious as getting beat up feels like watching a side of him being unveiled. It’s not out of the ordinary per se — Mike is more familiar with violence than we will ever know, but I must raise the question of why did he do it? Why did he have to put himself through the trouble? 

It’s bizarre but also intriguing how he seems to operate with such a lack of self-preservation for this guy who he met not long ago. I’m being so for real when I say it all reads as emotion-based and stemming from an undisclosed need to sacrifice to me. This is fucking insane behavior. This IS an insane old man. Mike’s turbulent decision making and penchant for criminality and Absolute homosexual tendencies don’t get regarded accordingly and discussed as often and thoroughly as they should because his stoic demeanor blanketing them make them easy to overlook, but honest to god, this aspect of him deserves more looking into.

Like what is this fascination bordering on obsession he had with Nacho? How down bad did he have to be for this handsome guy he’s just met? He kept trying to keep in touch, kept looking out for Nacho even when it didn’t serve him. It’s like he just HAD to do, he just had to get beaten within an inch of his near expiry life then present the aftermath to Nacho like “that’s right kid, I did go through this, for You” AUSHJAGSHS I suppose it can kinda be owed to him not wanting put any outsider in harm’s way, but that’s really weak reasoning tbh, especially when you consider that Mike knows he’s one among many in this shady business. And I don’t like how everything he does gets labeled as paternal… like no, he might empathize deeply with any father-son bond but being a father figure isn’t automatically his entire role. Mike isn’t that one dimensional, look closer. This is a masochistic old man with a martyr complex and stunted emotional growth (shown through his support group arc and unhelpful “one day you’ll wake up and realize you can forget” insight to Jimmy) resulted from unresolved trauma. Also he’s gay as fuck. 

The writers might have had the simple intention of creating drama with one of the most significant characters in the show, but that just means they’re trying to put across that Mike is in fact very dramatic despite his too-tired-to-care attitude lmao. What makes it even better is Nacho being not just absolutely flabbergasted by what he did but also teary over it. Trust that Mike walked away after showing him the swollen side of his face feeling satisfied that this testament of his fucked up devotion was ingrained in Nacho’s mind. Mike was getting his psychosexual freak on through impressing Nacho while Nacho is just… moved to tears. 

[allwormdiet]

Agitation 3.11

The problems involving this motherfucking bank are no longer limited to the exterior of said motherfucking bank

It has to be fucking alarming for your power to stop working for you when you're so used to it as a part of yourself. Can't even imagine.

God the tension here is good. Amy's not much of a fighter, sure, not even compared to Taylor, but Taylor's making her feel like she's dying rn

Do people really paint Amy as some kind of suffering angel? Like I get that she's suffered, sure, she's a parahuman and the least-favorite child of New Wave and yadda yadda, but she's fucking mean. And honestly between her and her sister I get the impression that New Wave is uhh, not too big on treating criminals like they have human rights? Which isn't at all concerning when one of them is a lawyer.

...Man how do I get worse vibes off of New Wave than the Protectorate, I'm basically never on the side of government superheroes

You can't fool me Victoria Dallon, I know you practiced that landing

Also Jesus that's a lot of damage, couldn't you have just gone through one of the windows that broke already? Kid Win made that hole for nothing.

I know Amy doesn't do this (yet) but the fact that this is the first thing she threatens to do to a villain with a knife to her throat is fucking insane

Are the Dallons actually trained in hostage negotiation and conflict de-escalation? I hope they're not because otherwise I'd have a lot of really pressing and mean questions for their trainers

Also fucked up that Amy's threats involve destroying Taylor's sense of taste, giving her fatal diseases, or *checks notes* making her really really fat, what the hell girl

Hey Tattletale, love you Tattletale, please for the love of god be careful Tattletale

So people have written Tattletale and Glory Girl punching each other with their lips, right? If I'm picking up on some kismesis vibes there's no way other people haven't picked up kismesis vibes

(Sit. Stay. Good girl. Oh my god.)

Interesting that Tattletale seems willing to call Amy's bluff here, though I'm not sure how safe that is

Tattletale: you should know better than to make me monologue about something that'll help you

Glory Girl: yeah I know

Tattletale: but I'm gonna answer your question anyhow

Glory Girl:

Victoria continues to be a huge fucking nerd

Tattletale continues to be outrageously smug and also, tbh, isn't entirely wrong about the expectations of superpowers. She's lying like a rug of course but how should they know that?

Clever! And fucked up. And remarkably powerful on Amy's part, like holy shit. As if the cancer threat wasn't bad enough.

And all the while Tattletale is fucking up Panacea's play with nothing but a laser pointer, with GG too distracted by proving her wrong to realize it

Victoria what the fuck

I'm gonna try to be generous and chalk this up to being written in 2011, but hollllly shit this doesn't reflect well on the character or author

Current Thoughts

Okay so I'm not gonna dwell on the slur, much as I'd love to, let's just leave that one on the side

I find it fascinating that GG considers New Wave immune to the threat of dirty secrets, especially the part about "full transparency." We just saw her nearly kill a suspect on accident and then guilt trip Panacea into healing her to prevent a black mark on the team's record. Like maybe she theoretically believes that stuff as long as she doesn't think too hard about it, but this is absolutely hypocrisy on her part

Victoria and Amy both are just. Really showing their best selves in this arc. I'm not going to act like they're both monsters, they're not. As previously mentioned, they're teenagers in an extremely high-stress situation. Amy's got a knife to her throat and Victoria is extremely protective of her sister and they're facing down two relatively unknown villains on their own

...which I think just points more to the fact that they shouldn't be in this situation to begin with. Amy obviously didn't have much say about whether she'd be a hostage but she definitely didn't have to pick a fight with the villains who had lethally venomous spiders on all the hostages. Victoria, on the other hand, absolutely did not think about what she was doing before doing it, and punched a hole in the roof of what's probably an expensive-ass building in the doing. Is she gonna pay for that? Her millionaire boyfriend?

Next time: Tattletale proves she's the most dangerous Undersider, and nobody regrets this at all

[linnetagain]

Hi! I’m not sure if you’re comfortable answering questions about your fics here so please feel free to ignore this if you’re not.

I’m a russian queer who left a comment under chapter 3 of The Season and I’m super qurious why you decided to make Астарион :), Cazador and Halsin russian. In Good Men and Monsters you mention that Astarion has been called upyr, does he have Eastern European background in that universe as well?

I’m completely enamoured with and fascinated by your works and wait for new updates religiously. Thank you so much for sharing them with us, you’re a солнышко! 🖤

Hello friend!! I am slow to answer but happy to! I can't promise I'll be very eloquent or be able to provide a satisfying answer but I'll do my best.

First of all, I haven't specified Astarion's background in Good Men and I likely won't, so if you want to read him as Eastern European please do! I can absolutely see how it fits. In the context of that discussion it's the concept of Vampirism and the folklore surrounding it that is focused on Eastern Europe rather than he himself. I am absolutely not going to touch some of Stoker's vampiric lore because he was a xenophobic Victorian man (the boxes of dirt... goddamn, Stoker, what the fuck - the grave dirt of course is relevant in Good Men but it's 'the soil the vampire was buried in' not 'fifty boxes of soil from his homeland'). I could write a whole essay on the symbolism of the outsider as a threat and the crossover of the ostracized sections of Victorian society in Dracula (non-english, lower class, homosexual, the list goes on and fucking on) but this is already a long reply so I'll spare you and look at Season.

There are a couple of reasons that it fits, for me, and a lot of it is to do with the Russian history of competitive ice skating. Writing a modern AU Astarion who wasn't a vampire meant I knew I needed to find another way to have that aspect of his character where his life hasn't been his own, where it's been shaped by other people for their own purposes, and even as an adult and being 'free' to make his own choices, he's living with the legacy of who they made him, and working to be more than that. Competitive sport definitely has that aspect already, unfortunately, and ice skating even more so.

I also never wanted him to be the only Russian, because then of course you're risking tokenizing him. Cazador made sense for obvious reasons, but Halsin too. I considered him because he's the other high elf companion, but also because in game he's the one with a history of war. Transferring him to a modern day context was harder than a lot of the other characters, but I wanted him to have that similar ground with Astarion that he has in game, even if they never address it. Unintentionally, it means that in Season he and Astarion have very different experiences of their culture and identity, especially in context of the diaspora, which is something I really enjoy exploring.

Of course that then raises the question of the current geopolitical state of Russia and the wider Slavic regions. Having real world issues as a basis for plot is always somewhat fraught, but it's also something very close to my heart and that I want to write about. I also didn't want to make them all British to avoid any of that difficulty, that would be both unrealistic and uninteresting.

I think the ultimate reason is that fiction, even fanfiction, is our way of processing and reflecting on and exploring our world. It's less obvious in fantasy settings, but it's still very much there. The ultimate reason I choose to do anything is because it's interesting - and usually, in a real world context, that means it's fraught and complicated. I want to write about things that matter, to me and to anyone who might read it, and I want to do it in a way that means anyone reading from a different context might feel seen.

The reason I started writing in the first place, however many years ago, is that I didn't see any asexual rep in fiction and I knew that if I needed it, someone else needed it too. I do the same now. I have queer Russian friends who feel like the world has moved on from what's going on in Russia at the moment, or that all Russian people are being treated like they MUST agree with what the Russian government are doing. The nuance of the situation and their identity is erased by oversimplification. I suppose part of writing this is just me wanting to do anything I can to combat that. It's not much, but I hope it's something, to know that you're seen and still being thought about, and people still care.

Writing characters who have dealt with miscarriage, drug abuse, xenophobia, chronic pain, emotional neglect and all those kinds of things is because I have feelings about these subjects, I want to discuss them, I want to explore what it means to live through something like that and how it affects you as a person. Fiction is a space to do that, and to invite people into those conversations that we wouldn't have otherwise. Art has always been a starting point, and it's always been at the forefront of social and political change. I don't write fanfic thinking it's going to change the world, obviously, but I do write it with the intention of treating real life situations with the respect and consideration they deserve, rather than just using them for drama or brushing over them because it's a difficult thing to talk about.

I know that Season is a love story. That's the ultimate goal, and I presume that's why people are still reading. But it's also, to me, a story about what it means to be queer in our world today. What that looks like, how far we've come and how far we still have left to go. I want to give people a story that is real, in that sense. That takes in all the fucking awful shit that can come with being queer and out and open, and still have hope and a happy ending. It's not easy, and I don't ever want to pretend that it is. But fiction also gives us a place where we can imagine what a happy ending might look like, in a world that doesn't provide them as often as we'd like.

So. Sorry for the essay as a response, but. I suppose I made Astarion Russian because it made sense for his character, but also because I want to write with hope, and not manufacturing false hope by turning away from the world as it is. I want to write all the awful, difficult, horrible things, and believe that happiness and hope are possible anyway, despite, and including them. We don't live in an ideal world. Sometimes I want to cave to despair and think that things will never be better. I write because I don't want to believe that's true.

[applestorms]

discussing alien stage backstory lore with The Mutuals and have come to develop some thoughts on how exactly human pet breeding habits might translate onto the kids, as per that one q&a answer. here's the headcanons (sfw):

IVAN: was the only one straightforwardly born thru normal human means. i like to think he was essentially a stray before the segyein dog (human) catchers got him and he was cleaned up to be adopted. this also maybe explains why he has the most Normal hair/eye color out of anyone else in the cast.

MIZI: on the opposite end of the spectrum, the most lab baby ass being that was ever artificially created. i don't think you could even draw two distinct parents in her lineage. also like the idea that this is why her hair is naturally pink, cuz the segyein have been (artificially) breeding human pets for so long that they've developed whole new flavors of human.

TILL: perhaps somewhere in between? clearly he's got at least one distinct Parent/Provider w/ io, but a part of me thinks he probably doesn't have a second. the idea of him having an alien parent is also. :) Hmm. (can humans & aliens breed, inquiries of all time. actually, that's stupid-- they can definitely fuck, the only question is whether or not they can reproduce. what will science do next mary shelley u were right all along etc. etc.)

HYUNA: i like to think she's the human pet equivalent of a mutt. the second anniversary pop up store thing that showed her being tested for her Genetic Superiority is also fascinating to consider, in a horribly fucked up, mostly terrible kinda way. personally, i like the idea that her parents somehow broke out of the facility and got pregnant by accident but they kept her around anyway since she fit the standards or whatever.

LUKA: you know how some "High Class" cat/dog breeders end up accidentally(ish) creating absolute abomination breeds that are barely able to survive, purely because they think they look cute? yeah. yeag. he has heart issues. he has breath training. his fingers are literally bloodless. the headcanons write themselves tbh.

SUA: i genuinely am not sure. part of me thinks she must be Really weird, like even in the context of all of this, particularly since her segyein spider 8itch mom or whatever seems to hold her to such an exceptionally high standard. maybe she comes from like, the artificial eggs of a human that had been frozen in the time before earth was essentially domesticated, and then was later miraculously unfrozen and artificially inseminated and sold at a totally exorbitant price?? actually fuck it that's a great idea i'm sticking with that. (alternatively: she, like ivan, was mostly born through normal human means, but they did like eugenics DNA splicing or whatever before she was born to have more ideal traits, as per spider mom's request.)

[cultkinkcoven]

peace! I so enjoy your blog and I'm learning a lot. thank you for that post about mental health and spirituality it helps so much. I lean into prayer when I feel helpless, because at least god/ my deities will listen even when humans can't or won't. sometimes I wish though I could converse with them like an actual conversation. sometimes I can feel my spirits listening to my prayers of thanks or asking for help. other times I'm not sure. my mind is constantly running, readers have a tough time describing/feeling what my mind is like. I'm constantly fighting self criticism and doubt and allowing my faith to ease my worries. my practice doesn't always look consistent but it's consistent in the sense I haven't stopped trying to honor my deities and ancestors. I want to grow my gifts and understand my divine messages better. do you have any guidance or tips on how to ask for divine support with rumination and self esteem? either who to ask or how to ask?

also I saw you refer to Lucifer as your dom... in some ways is it a romantic relationship for you? I learned recently that Krishna accepts all kinds of devotees including as lovers, the idea of honoring spirit with love and desire absolutely fascinates me. to my heart and body it feels right, my mind wonders if it is "allowed". if that's not what you meant would you please describe your relationship a bit more? apologies if it's clear in your posts, the search function does not work for me on mobile.

thanks for your time 🙏

My biggest piece of advice to you would be to remember that everyone starts somewhere. All pagans need to learn how to become confident in their practice, and the stumbles that you take along the way will only make you a better devotee. I challenge you do enjoy this period of self discovery and unsureness. Continue to speak with your deities and allow them to guide you into your worship. Whoever feels the closest to you is who you should be consulting. Sometimes this spirit doesn’t have a name yet, sometimes it’s your own inner voice. Don’t think too hard about what you’re supposed to be doing, and think a lot more about what you want to do. Try something that you’ve never done before, whether this be writing out prayers, making songs, making art, cooking a feast etc.

To answer your other question, I wouldn’t say that Lucifer and I have an overtly sexual/ romantic relationship. We have a magical God/ devotee relationship first before everything else. The main purpose of our relationship is spiritual development and radical education. While our relationship is very romanticized (literally beautified and idealized, roses, chocolates, love notes) it isn’t inherently romantic as one would consider a husband or wife, Lucifer is not my boyfriend or husband. Our connection goes very beyond sex and romance even if those things are often included in our interactions. That’s why a lot of our dialogue can sound kind of strange lmao. I don’t want Lucifer to fuck me, I want him to consume my entire soul until it is a beacon of light. I don’t want to touch him, I want to fully become and embody him in everything I do.

I am constantly offering Lucifer love and admiration as my patron and dom, and I do occasionally offer him my pleasure as a gift as one would offer a piece of art. But when we have these exchanges, it’s not really the same as directly having sex with each other. When we do sex magic and rituals it’s usually for the purpose of self rejuvenation or to show each other appreciation. A lot of the time he’s showing me how precious I am to him, reminding me that I deserve pleasure and that I should seek it often. To love and honour Lucifer is also to love and honour myself.

But Lucifer is not a human. Being touched by his light is like being purified by fire. When he embraces me, I feel like I’m laying on a cloud of bright nourishing energy that empowers me and my craft. When he kisses me, I feel like my aura is being cleansed. It’s so much more than just an erotic or romantic feeling, it truly is divine.

The intimate and sensual parts of our practice act more as a form of communication. Being an autist myself, I am very concerned with sensation. The physical feelings he gives me during our interactions better help me recognize his energy. The excitement amplifies that energy towards a goal. Sometimes that goal is just letting him know how much I love and appreciate his presence in my life. Sometimes it’s far more practical, like getting a new job.

Lucifer is relaxed and very free love, he made it clear to me that he wasn’t overly concerned with labels unless I felt them necessary. I can’t say that other deities will have the same attitude, but I have observed many other devotees of other Gods that have a similar dynamic. I don’t intend to ever be married to Lucifer in any kind of god spousal nun way, I feel my title as a devotee is already as binding and significant as a kind of marriage. It took quite a lot of time for us to get to this point, lots of folks are devoted to deities for years before they establish a relationship outside of their work. It’s definitely allowed as long as all parties involved are happy with it.

[adoremexxs]

Hi!

the plot where Karaku from your AU (I read it very cool) meets an innocent, pure reader (who does not use drugs, does not smoke, and is generally against alcohol).

Considering that Karaku is a drug addict and sleeps with people, he is simply amazed that such pure people remain, eventually falling in love with the reader. But he does not want to "spoil" her with his dirty company and corrupt her, as he did with his former mistresses.

Karaku x reader

warnings: brief mention of od, mention of drugs and drinking, it’s a lil angsty y’all and probably not the ending you want

Karaku had been introduced you through Urogi. You were Urogi’s tutor and best friend. So obviously the fact that you were Urogi’s best friend should mean that you drink and do drugs?

Absolutely not.

Whenever Karaku asked you if you did them and wanted to smoke with him, you looked at him in pure disgust. It actually hurt his feelings!

You didn’t say anything and just looked away, your expression was enough to tell him that you hated that shit.

He thought everyone smoked and drank nowadays. So to think that you didn’t do anything?!

Blew his mind.

.

.

.

This made him grow fascinated with you. Everytime Urogi brought you over to help him study, Karaku always managed to barge in and annoy you. And only talk to you. It irked Urogi because he can see what Karaku was trying to do.

He was trying to get with you! Urogi has thought and he certainly didn’t want his…known brother to corrupt his innocent best friend.

Urogi left you two alone for a few minutes because he had to do something.

You could already tell that Karaku was itching to just bombard you with questions. And he did.

He asked you why you didn’t do drugs or drink or sleep around. You just said because you wanted to save it for the right person and also not ruin your health.

It kinda made Karaku see a new perspective on his situation. One that even Zohakuten finding him half dead on the floor couldn’t give him.

How could you, an absolute stranger, affect him that he starts to rethink his choices?

“Would you date anyone who does those things?” Karaku has been itching to ask that question, biting onto his bottom lip as he fidgets with his fingers.

You furrow your brows, that beautiful face of yours twisting back into a sad one. “No, I wouldn’t. I don’t want to be with someone who actively is drinking and doing drugs. It’s harmful to your health.”

Ouch.

Karaku felt his heart shatter into a million pieces at that. Karaku was far too deep in what he does now. It’s almost impossible for him to get out.

He wouldn’t want to corrupt them with his ways. He has slept with too many people, done so many drugs and drank so much that his health is practically failing. Karaku is surprised that he hasn’t died yet.

Your honest answer hurt him but it is what he expected.

He had just clung onto the idea that maybe you would want to date him.

Urogi had came back and you and him were talking while Karaku was lost in his own thoughts.

Should he just tell you that he’s in love with you? Will that scare you away? You probably won’t even like him back.

He frowns, his mind spiraling as you and Urogi laugh and study together and him being the third wheel. Maybe you like Urogi? Urogi would be a better choice.

Karaku immediately snapped out of his thoughts. What the fuck was he thinking?! He’s one of the hottest guys in school! He can definitely ask you out.

Imagine your surprise when Karaku texts you to meet him at the park.

.

.

.

You met him at the park. He was dressed up rather nice and oh God…Karaku smiled at you and handed you these beautiful flowers. He looked embarrassed.

“Hi, (Y/N)…”

“Karaku, what is this?” You ask, raising a brow and looking at the flowers.

“For you. Uhm, (Y/N), I…” He was freaked out, his constant fidgeting and stumbling over his words was a key giveaway.

“(Y/N), I am in love with you. I know you don’t like drinking and doing drugs but if you like me back, I’ll stop! I already stopped a few days ago. It’s uh…it sucks but I’ll do anything for you. I, uh, I don’t want to ruin your innocence, y’know? I’m just asking you to please give me a chance.” Karaku held onto your free hand, he was shaking so hard. You would have never guessed this to happen. You furrow your brows at him.

“Karaku…”

God, his heart was racing. He was sweating. He was panicking. Karaku never thought he would be this nervous…

You just have a special effect on him.

“I don’t like you like that. Your drinking and drug addiction is terrible,” You pat his shoulder, giving a small smile, “I see you as a close friend. I’m praying for your health, Karaku. I’m sorry I don’t reciprocate the feelings for you. Look, I would stay longer but I have to get to class. I’ll see you around.” You hand the flowers back to him and walk away, leaving Karaku there. You had lied to get out of that awkward situation. You were happy that you were out of it.

Karaku stood there in shock.

He was trying not to cry.

God, how humiliating.

The first person he actually likes and he gets rejected.

He didn’t do so well with this. Karaku is heartbroken and also trying to stay off of drugs and drinking as a last resort in winning you over.

It didn’t work.

[charaznablespeteevee]

Would you share your thoughts on the Gundam you've seen? I added the first one to my list based on your posting about it (mostly the transition Char posting, he sounds like a fascinating character) and am not on Twitter to see your liveposting

Good question!! It seems like you want to know if I'd rec them so I'll answer based on that.

The original Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) absolutely I would rec to literally any anime fan. Both because it is a genuinely good anime, but equally because it's like. You know how people say you have to read the Bible to get all the references to the Bible in literature? It's like that. Gundam is one of the Bibles for anime. It's in everything. And you won't realize this until you watch it.

It's also a very good science fiction show just in general. The major characters are all great, the drama is compelling, and while some of the animation has not aged well, the newtype stuff has some super neat effects that are gorgeous to see on a big screen to this day.

It's also super accessible, the full show is available on Crunchyroll or if you don't want to commit watching a 43 episode show the three compilation movies are on Netflix and are a very solid alternative.

Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam (1985) - they got a big budget upgrade so everything is Bigger and More. More robots, more character drama, more romance, better music, and some bizarre segues into how men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Absolutely worth a watch if you liked the original Gundam because it continues to follow a lot of the original characters.

Mobile Suit Gundam ZZ (1986) - technically "skippable" if you consider 0079, Zeta, and Char's Counterattack a trilogy, which it kind of is. ZZ focuses on an almost entirely new cast of characters and the first half of the show is VERY heavy on the comedy before jumping directly into some of the best anime I've ever seen for the second half. The mood whiplash is kind of divisive among fans. Personally I like it and the characters are great. Worth a watch if you like what you've seen so far.

Char's Counterattack (1988) - caps off the gayass Amuro/Char rivalry and is just an amazing movie in general. Gorgeous visuals, and the final 15 minutes or so are a series of emotional gut-punches the likes of which I've rarely experienced in media. Must watch IMO.

War in the Pocket (1989) - six episode OVA featuring entirely new characters. This is a truly fantastic little series that lets you into the lives of a small handful of likeable characters and how their lives are affected by war. It's Gundam so guess how that goes. I liked it a LOT and recommend it. BONUS: This is a GREAT "starter" Gundam. It's short, it's very good, and you don't need to know anything about Gundam going in. There's a few references to prior lore, but they aren't anything major and a newcomer could easily figure it all out from context.

Mobile Suit Gundam F91 (1991) - this is a movie that was originally going to be made into a TV show and it shows, they stuffed far too much into too little time and it suffers for it. So unfortunately this is the first thing on this list I probably wouldn't rec. That said the characters are pretty fun and the ending is very good, so you can do a lot worse if you're bored or a completionist.

Mobile Suit Victory Gundam (1993) - this is what I'm watching right now! I'm a little over halfway done with it. This is all new characters and there are some interesting new concepts. For example the first twenty or so episodes were set on Earth so you got some really gorgeous scenery during mobile suit battles that made those scenes really visually distinctive compared to say, a battle in space. That said it's yet to really "pull me in" the way most other Gundam series did. For now I'm still waiting to see if it will do that or not.

Witch From Mercury - I'm assuming everyone knows what this is. It's gay as fuck, what can I say, and it's the entire reason I fell down into this Hell to begin with. 10/10